I don't know why. But some seem to believe that seizures are some kind of illness that people can shrug off and go "Oh yeah it's no biggie".
Seriously. It isn't. I sometimes joke about my illness just like the last time, when i was asked how i was feeling by one of my friends, where upon i replied "Pretty good, since when i was on the floor i out-danced most crappy modern pop stars". To me there needs to be some humility with illnesses. As if we were 100% serious about it all the time, it would be a more depressing matter.
But one thing i can't stand. Is how my last seizure was handled and what news i received recently.
My last seizure was in the middle of a busy town, St.annes square. I was simply doing my shopping and couldn't wait to see my friends back home, but then, the heat and my stress of so much responsibility in my life got to me. I ended up leaning against a wall, holding my head and covering my right eye. Due to my seizures being different and stress triggered. I oddly get a warning, where i start to see flashing colors (Like in migraines) and after a short time, i will start to see double, my eyes will cross and not uncross, then my head will start rotating left to right, back and forth, snapping almost. Then. All muscles tense, i pass out and i am in the seizure.
But during the flashing lights i went up to a random civilian and said "Could you call an ambulance, i suffer from seizures and i am having one" He put me down on the floor and rested my head on his coat to prevent me from bashing my head on the pavement, then a woman nearby phoned an ambulance for me. As i delved into the sad last minute or so before my seizure began, i heard some teenagers, literally taking their phones out and recording or snapping pictures of me as i was beginning to seize and tense, they were telling jokes, such as "Whats blue and doesn't fit anymore? A dead epileptic". It disgusted me no end. I've helped people with several nasty ailments. But never. Would i even dare or say anything when someone's life is on the line.
I have helped people with PTSD before, when they sadly lose their thoughts and end up locking up and having rash mood choices and body movements, imagining what they went through again. I am more focused on keeping said person alive than making jokes or even just standing, watching. It just saddens me how the public see things like this...
Also, i got the breaking news the other day that each seizure is actually a 7 year ban from driving, but each time i have one, the 7 year ban resets itself, i have a seizure, every month it seems. With that said. That's a life ban. I will never, be able to drive. No more dreams of owning a 1957 Chevy bel air, my missus by my side, cruising the country road. It just sickens me, how you can be told. "Sorry, but you won't be driving. Ever". And how harsh the DVLA is. Stripping someone of being able to drive commercial vehicles or public transport is sad, of course it is. But saying to someone, you'll never drive, is crushing.
It sickens me. How could you do something like that. Just take something so important to someone, crush it and blow it away. No real justification. And what's worse, is my seizures are not considered a disability, since i can "medicate" myself... I use a syringe full of fluids to simply reduce the length of the seizure, by about a quarter. I still have one, i am still damaged by said seizure, regardless of medication. But that apparently is not a disability, as i have "medication" to "control it myself"... The UK really sickens me. They don't seem to understand. I could get brain damaged from these seizures, i could end up in a coma for who knows how long, or worse. I could die.
I cannot wait to get some money and live my dreams to reality, get to America and settle down with the most important woman i have ever met in my life. My beautiful lady and girlfriend, who i stay dedicated and warmed by, but preferably call her, "my missus" As she's that important to me.
Playing: artwork simulator SAI2015